EiC

← Back to all posts

The Clarity of Silence

by Aileen van der Veer
Jul 26, 2026
Connect

For the last couple of months, I’ve been playing with content ideas and thoroughly enjoying myself.

I also knew there was something else I should’ve been doing that I kept putting off because the thought of it made me feel uncomfortable, yet I knew to progress this is a step I had to take.

By focusing on content creation, I had a perfectly valid reason for not doing the thing. Right?

Wrong! 

Fate stepped in where I came across a video asking why people don’t just do the thing. The message was:

"Rather than beat yourself up for avoiding something, lean into why you're avoiding it.

So I did. I talked it out and the conclusion… anything that doesn’t feel authentically me makes me run in the opposite direction.

Until this point, I had been taking advice - only when I applied the advice, I sounded like the person giving it. At times, I even sounded like it had come directly from an AI. None of it sounded like me.

So I started working out what sounding like me really is. Where does it come from. What words would I use? What would I never say? What makes my voice mine? Then boom! I stepped into the most productive afternoon I’d had in months, doing the exact thing I had convinced myself I could never do.

Why am I sharing this?

Right now, I'm sitting in a WiFi free area with only the sounds of the trees you see in the photo around me and I realised the same thing happened at the beginning of my leadership journey. I didn’t know who I was as a leader or what my voice sounded like, so I copied other people. I copied what I thought leadership was supposed to look like and I hated every moment - with a passion.

Then, one day I found myself and stopped sounding like everyone else. I became me, one hundred per cent of the time.

That was when everything changed.

The progress I made was unbelievable, not because I had suddenly learned how to lead, but because I had finally stopped performing someone else’s version of leadership.

I genuinely thought I had learned this lesson.

Turns out, regardless of where we are in our lives we can still be clueless when learning something new.

We borrow language, follow advice and try on other people’s ways of doing things. That part can feel uncomfortable. 

It doesn’t mean we are doing it wrong. It means we are still finding the version that belongs to us.

Until next time, Aileen


Exceptional Leaders: Episode 3 is now available on Spotify.

This month's exceptional leader Aura Dorneaunu, who is well known for her leadership and innovation; shares with us how to always remain authentically you.

3.3 Exceptional Leaders: Aura Dorneaunu

Listen to this episode from Everyone is Coachable on Spotify. In this episode I'm joined by Aura Dorneanu, a customer service expert reco...

open.spotify.com

 

 

Responses

Join the conversation
t("newsletters.loading")
Loading...
Who said this was good enough?
There’s something that has bothered me throughout my career. It's not that people get things wrong; we all get things wrong sometimes.  It’s what happens when something gets created, reviewed, approved, signed off, and nobody along the way seems to ask:  Is this any good? I’ve seen content created by people with years of experience that would have taught people to do their job worse! So much s...
Delegated or Dumped?
When I was a brand new leader, I had the grade but not the team; and also had far too much work to do. My manager decided the answer was to give me some help, so we hired an assistant. When he joined he sat there doing nothing all day long. The reason? I had absolutely no idea how to get him going. When I did give him something to do, I for sure didn’t explain it well enough. I didn’t know how...
Stop crying over split milk.
I’m going to get straight to the point. Stop labouring over the mistake and instead, focus your time on the correction. The answer is not buried somewhere in the twentieth minute of yesterday's replay. What happened is done and, in most cases, cannot be undone. The correction is where change happens, not the scold.  I recently interrupted one of those conversations. “The change won’t come fro...

UNSTOPPABLE

For leaders figuring it out alone

EiC

© 2026 Everyone is Coachable
Powered by Kajabi

Join Our Free Trial

Get started today before this once in a lifetime opportunity expires.