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You think it went well?

by Aileen van der Veer

Apr 19, 2026

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You had the conversation. They agreed with you, said the right things and it felt productive.

Then nothing changed.

Infact, you continue to see the same behaviours and will no doubt end up having the same conversation.

At what point do you start to wonder what you’re missing?

✨ You may be judging the conversation on how it felt ✨ not on what you planned to change ✨

🚫 Agreement is not change.
🚫 Understanding is not change.
✅ New Action or behaviour is.

Before your next conversation ask yourself this.

What's changed?

If the answer is: “I’m not sure." Then nothing changed.

And, you already know what's going to happen next, you've seen it play out before.

Before your next conversation, decide:

What change do I want to see afterwards? Be specific. Not:

• “Be more engaged”

• “Improve performance”

✨What will the person do or say?
✨What new actions or behaviours will you see or hear?

Then lead the conversation towards that.

At the end, check understanding:

✨“What will I see you do next time?”

✨"When will you put this into practice?"

Most leaders were never taught to have conversations.

They were told to manage performance, handed targets to hit and left to work conversations out on their own.

So no wonder they rely on what feels right - that’s why nothing changes.

Are you ready to stop repeating the same conversations?

Until next time,

Aileen - I write about coaching every two weeks.

Interested in listening to a FREE 6-part mini Team Leader training? (70 mins in total).

Click the button to find me on Sportify.

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You think it went well?

Before your next conversation ask yourself this.

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